I got married to the first girl I ever dated. We layed it in exchange on the altar of marriage as we took each others innocence. It seemed like a glorious start to our sojourn in fulfilling our purpose on earth. I would smile as I counselled others believing the precipice for a loving marriage was the foundation of the ties between Lambert and his first love. It didn’t take time before the love started to wane. In my quiet time I would wonder and ponder on all the hype about sex and marriage. The principal actors (my wife and I) here, started taking positions according to our convictions and character. Issues we never discussed or probably swept under the carpet because of the love or call it strong feelings I had for this young Lady had started surfacing as we paddled our canoe to it’s unknown destination. I soon realised that I had married a strong-willed person who was educated and very intelligent too. Logical reasoning became our trading currency. My frustration started revealing itself in different dispositions of mine;I would keep sealed lips for days or spoke in harsh tone. It wasn’t long before I learned that every action of mine was an invitation of an equal reaction of hers. Then I resorted to God and He tells me times without number “love your wife”. But I believed she wasn’t acting like I would want. Yet we managed to live together to the admiration of friends, family members, business partners and neighbours. We didn’t fight but it wasn’t working.Though I have focus my camera’s lens on the dark side of my marriage at that time for the purpose which I seek to achieve with this write-up.This is not denying the sweet days which far out our moments of disagreement as we were friends. The Lord said to me “you are dealing with your wife with the kind of love that is man’s”. That love that is based on the feelings that attracted you to her, but remember that, that feeling or kind of love is selfish and would fade. You buy her gifts because of what you are expecting in return. And when what you are expecting doesn’t come ,you get angry or your love turns to hate. See that your love is selfish and He went further to say ” love your wife via the God kind of love “.This love is a choice, it only comes from God, it’s not selfish, not self seeking, rather it is the other person-centered. “Let me deal with you” my Lord craved but for another six years after two years of marriage I couldn’t comprehend the concerns of my master who is the author of marriage. Note that my marriage was the cynosure of many eyes other than Lambert and Esosa. So it was easy to conclude that marriage was not as easy. Under three years of marriage, God blessed us with two boys; Ikeora and Dinam. Five years and a few months after Dinam was born, my wife got pregnant again. As her term was due, the doctor had confirmed that the birth of the child would be through a ceasarian section. It wasn’t strange hearing this cause our first two children came through ceasarian too but what was different about this was that my wife kept seeing in her dreams that she didn’t make it through child birth. We prayed, I rebuked the thoughts and counselled but the dreams kept pouring in. Soon my wife started believing this was God’s plan for her and this was the end of the road. She begged me to take care of her children, I couldn’t accept thoughts that I was sure was from hell and I started speaking and verbalizing God’s promises. Esosa had set up all modalities for the launch of our school as we had earlier agreed that I was Lagos-bound to start a branch of our church there. Her operation was booked for the 14th of September (she chose the day our school was starting). The doctor had required that I checked her in on Sunday the 13th for the operation on the 14th. 7am on the 14th I came to the school to direct the teachers and attend to parents, enquirers e.t.c By 8a.m. my wife calls,” the doctors are ready” she says. She will be going into the theatre anytime soon. My mother had stationed herself in the hospital as her custom was and my mother in-law was not left out. So I had multiple media to keep me in touch with UBTH. A few minutes past 10am my mother in-law called. ” congratulations your daughter has arrived “. What about my wife I asked. She’s not out from the theatre was her answer. Then an hour past. I was calling every 10 minutes. Not yet out was the continuous response I got from both mothers.I was getting worried, I kept praying and sensing the pulse of both mothers. Then an other hour past. I called my mother-in-law but heard my mother speaking in tongues in the background voice. “Pray Lambert” my mother in-law said. Yet another hour past. These hours past as fast as flipping the pages of a book as it seems. The nurses and doctors where not giving any information to the mothers on ground. My heart started beating even faster. I got into a taxi headed to UBTH, it was going to take some real time to get there, then the traffic and it seemed my heart beat increased it’s pace or rather beats every five minutes. Thoughts arrested my mind. I remembered all she’s been saying to me. After four hours of not hearing of the whereabout of my wife.Several voices told me she had gone. ” WHY DID YOU TAKE HER LORD” I asked my God as tears ran down my cheek. Then it seemed my Lord reserved that moment to lecture me; I started seeing and appreciating all about my wife, her sacrifices, her love, I started missing even her troubles. And I prayed to God “just bring her back, I’m OK with her just as she is” “she’s good enough”. I started seeing virtue and the uniqueness of her being. Thank God as I touched-down at the hospital, they had just heard from the doctors. The doctors said the surgery took so long. And from that day I submitted my marriage to the Lord and my love life took another turn. Happy birthday to you Esosa you helped me discover me…

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